Living Dreams
by PrimeEmily135
Summary: We all have dreams, some more real than others. Some obtainable, some not. And sometimes we live through them so vividly we can't tell if we're still asleep. "Ravagers" Series (19)! Rated M. Nothing too explicit.


**Here's a Happy Early Naughty Valentine's day present! ;) I was hoping to have uploaded a few other installations to this series before this one, but it just wasn't happening. I've been busy with work and school... yadda yadda yadda, you know the spiel. Enjoy! :)**

 **Oh, and if you are bored and have a few minutes, you can check out my YouTube channel. I'm going to be posting new videos regularly on there starting in a few weeks :)**

 **::Living Dreams::**

 **Description: We all have dreams, some more real than others. Some obtainable, some not. And sometimes we live through them so vividly we can't tell if we're still asleep. "Ravagers" Series! Rated M. Nothing too explicit.**

(Yondu)

It had been a rough day.

I collapsed into the armchair in my quarters with a long, drawn out groan of exhaustion, rubbing a hand over my face as I clenched my tired eyes shut. Nothing had gone right, and everything had decided to break in turns. One thing would get fixed, and then another problem would crop up, and so on and so forth. This streak of bad luck had lasted for a whole two days, and within those two days I had gotten no sleep.

I eyed my bed with longing, but barely had the will to keep my eyes open, let alone move all the way across the room. I considered just sleeping on the chair, but knew that it'd give me a kink in the neck if I did. At some point I'd have to move to the bed, whether I liked it or not.

With another sigh I bent forward to unlace my boots, working at them with daft hands for a full five minutes before finally ripping the stupid things off my feet. I threw the boots across the room, and my socks came off to join them as well. My feet throbbed when exposed to the chilly air, the blisters that had formed and broken open over the past few days stinging when I forced myself to stand again. Shrugging off my coat, I tossed it aside onto the chair and trudged across the room to flop face first onto my bed.

I am the most ungraceful person when I'm tired, don't f*cking judge.

Rolling over onto my back, I stared up at the ceiling as I mentally replayed the last eight hours. I was tired from the work, the stress, and the lack of sleep, but I was also overwhelmed with a sense of confusion. Layla was on my mind all day. No matter how hard I tried, I just could not get her out of my head.

She had made me dinner, surprising me with it when I was too busy to go get something to eat myself. She had slipped it into my satchel when no one else was looking, a container of rice covered in some sort of stew. She didn't say anything, but she smiled, and she brushed her hand over my shoulder as she left, sending a tingling sensation through my body when her touch disappeared. The food had been delicious, satisfying the burning pit in my stomach that had been bothering me for hours, but the tingling sensation continued to burn through my veins even now.

I closed my eyes, concentrating on the feeling. It was lust, but it wasn't. It was a feeling that had taken root in the heart of my gut, something that made me feel both sick and elated. It wasn't love. It couldn't be. But it wasn't lust, but it was.

I opened my eyes again, glaring at the ceiling. I didn't know what it was.

But I wanted it. Whatever it was, I craved it. When I looked at Layla I could feel my body react to her presence. My hands got sweaty, my throat got tight, and my stomach twisted until the moment she left my sight. And even then, I felt the obvious effects she had on me.

I let out another long breath, thinking about how thankful I was for my thick, heavy, cargo pants that hid the hard-on she'd given me with that smile. That's all it took with her. A smile. One smile and I was a goner. I had to pay prostitutes huge sums of units to do things to get me going, but with her it only took that sweet, thoughtful, kindhearted smile.

Did she know what she did to me? Did she have any idea at all? If she ever found out I doubt she'd stick around very long. I wouldn't blame her for leaving either. It'd be downright creepy knowing that your boss, who was nearly twice your age, became aroused whenever you were in close proximity to him. And it did happen, nearly every time she was close by I felt that familiar rush of blood. It made it difficult to concentrate sometimes, especially when we were talking alone. When she was working she wore those tank tops that would sometimes be pulled down by the weight of her small breasts, giving me a teasing view of her cleavage. The heat in the engine room hadn't helped either, as it had caused a thin layer of sweat to cover every inch of her exposed skin, giving her body a shimmer.

Her breasts heaved with each breath she took, and with her so close it was driving me wild. I'm surprised she didn't notice how difficult it was for me to walk away after our conversation there. My heart had been pounding, pumping blood through my body as my mind supplied thoughts of pushing her up against the walkway railing and kissing her senseless right there in the engine room. Of course, I wanted to do more than just kiss her, _much_ more. I wanted to make her moan my name, thrash in pleasure, and cry out in ecstasy. But mostly, deep down, I wanted her to feel the same way I did. Whatever this feeling was, I wanted for her to know what it was and feel it too.

I wanted many things in life, and in most circumstances I could just take what I wanted. But this was different. In this case, I couldn't take what I wanted. I couldn't have her. She wasn't mine, and she never would be. But she was still there. She haunted me on my own ship, with only her smile and her ability to make me feel like fumbling idiot.

I don't know how long I lay there staring at the ceiling, but after a while, just as my eyes were starting to droop, I heard a knock at my door. I froze, suddenly very awake again, as the only person who ever knocked at my door was the same woman who haunted my waking hours. I sat up quickly, blinking away my tiredness and standing to open the locked door.

When the door opened she was standing there, the picture of beauty. I stepped to the side, motioning for her to enter. "To what do I owe this untimely visit?" I asked, trying to sound peeved at the least. I should have been upset to have my sleep disturbed, or my attempts to sleep that is, but I wasn't. I couldn't be upset if it was her.

Layla stood awkwardly in front of me as I shut the door. "I uh-" she glanced to the side, clearing her throat before attempting to speak again. "I was just heading to my quarters, and I thought I'd check up on you." She said, her expression growing concerned. "Are you okay? You seemed kind of… _off_ , today."

 _D*mn_. So she had noticed. At least partially. "Just tired. Nothing to worry about." I said casually. I was still undoubtedly tired, my body felt like crashing to the floor in a heap, but I was mentally wide awake.

She didn't look convinced. "Are you sure?" She took a step closer, absently reaching out to adjust the turtleneck of my sweater. "You know you can talk to me, Yondu." She said in a quieter voice, her bright blue eyes looking into mine. "Are you sure you're alright?"

I couldn't speak. I found myself once again in painfully close proximity to her, and I couldn't say a word. I looked down at her, my eyes finding her lips as she absently took her bottom lip in between her teeth.

I wanted to kiss those lips. I wanted to take that lip between _my_ teeth, and bite down softly, just to hear her gasp. I wanted to feel her lips part so I could dive my tongue into her mouth and taste her. _Oh hell_ , I wanted to _taste_ her. I wanted to watch those eyes flutter shut and hear her moan in contentment as I gripped her hips and pressed her body against mine. I wanted so much that I couldn't have.

"Yondu?"

I looked up again, realizing I had been staring. Much to my dismay, I also realized that she knew _exactly_ what I had been staring at. Her cheeks darkened a shade.

"Layla," I tried to take a step back, but I blinked and she had followed me, moving closer to me than she had been before. She reached up to touch my cheek, her thumb brushing over the stubble on my chin before lightly ghosting over the corner of my lip. "Layla-" I choked on her name, feeling my breath catch in my chest. She was watching me closely, her eyes searching mine with a certain knowingness that sent my stomach churning. My hands started to sweat, and - _d*mn it!_ \- I could already feel my blood rushing.

It happened before I could process it. She moved forward, her one hand holding me in place as her other slid up my chest to wrap over my shoulder, and she pressed her mouth over mine. Her touch was hot, sending fire shooting through my veins. When it became apparent that I wasn't going to push her away, not that I could move much at all (I suppose I was in shock), she moved in even closer, pressing into my chest with a soft exhale through her nose.

Her eyes were closed, and when she felt me pull her closer I could see them roll up behind her lids. She made a quiet noise, breathless, and her fingers traced down my jaw. Against my better judgement, I closed my eyes as well and savored the feeling of her touch against my jugular vein.

"Your heart is _racing_ …" her voice was a whisper in my ears.

"You kinda have that effect on me." I admitted without thinking. She laughed softly, her fingers leaving my neck to wrap around one of my wrists. She brought my hand up to her own neck and pressed it there. I could feel the distinct throbbing of her heartbeat. It was just as erratic as my own. "Guess I'm not the only one?"

I only dared to open my eyes again when she said my name, too afraid that this might be some figment of my imagination. I feared that if I opened my eyes she wouldn't be there. But she was. She was watching me carefully, her hand placed firmly over mine on her neck. I must have betrayed my thoughts. She squeezed my hand briefly, giving me the sweetest smile I had ever seen.

"I'm not going anywhere."

I scoffed, but the scowl I was trying to express never quite reached my face. I shook my head, deciding that at least for now I'd let my walls stay down, not that I had much of a choice. "Like I'd let you leave _now_." I settled, allowing myself a small smirk.

Layla's smile didn't fade, but she grew half serious. "You would. If I wanted to leave, you'd let me go…" her seriousness fell, and a certain twinkle entered her eyes. "But I don't want to go."

A lump entered my throat, and for a moment I forgot how to breathe. " _Hell,_ _woman_ -" what I had to say after that I'll never remember. In the next split-second she had wrapped her arms around me again and smothered me with a hard kiss. It took me a moment to realize that she was leading the pace, and my male pride couldn't have that. At least, not without a _little_ fight.

I anchored her in place with both hands on her hips, keeping her close to me but far enough that it appeared to annoy her. I smirked against her lips, enjoying the sound of her irritated huff. I was so momentarily distracted that when she pulled me forward by the belt I _actually_ moved forward. _Damn, I don't give the woman enough credit. She's strong enough to get what she wants…_ I crashed into her, and she laughed as she fell backwards onto my bed, dragging me down with her.

 _And she wants_ me… A part of me realized suddenly, and the weight of the situation seemed to fall into place on my shoulders. Layla, one of my crew, was in my room, making advances on me. Normally, if a woman did that she was either paid to, or she wanted something from me. But this was _Layla_. She wouldn't do something like this. Hell, she was still a _virgin_ for f*ck sake.

 _How far does she want this to go?_ I looked down at her from where I was propped up above her. Her blonde hair haloed around her face, and she was smiling at me. Her one hand was still wrapped firmly around my belt but her other was creeping underneath the hem of my sweater. I hissed air through my teeth, tensing when I felt her cold fingertips touch my stomach. _She's moving so fast, but I don't want to push her farther than she's wanting to go…_ I didn't want to have to ask, but it looked like I might have to.

Her hand slid further up my torso, moving my sweater up to expose my stomach to the cold air. I released a breathy sound, tangling my right hand loosely in her hair, just at her scalp. I wanted this more than I could say. But I had to be sure… "Layla," I breathed, and her hand paused in its motion up my chest, "I need to know… that this is what you want. I need you to _say_ what you want." I rephrased, watching closely as she suddenly couldn't meet my gaze. I refused to look away, searching her expression for an answer. I moved a lock of hair away from her face, letting my fingers linger on her cheek "Layla?"

"I-" Her face flushed red, and her blue eyes finally met mine. "I-I _do_ want this, Yondu- I mean," she blushed harder, clenching her eyes shut as she tried to push past her embarrassment, or reservations, I couldn't be sure which. "I want to have sex with you." Something exploded in my chest at the confession, and it traveled outward towards my fingers and toes, sending tingling sensations through me. Layla wrapped her arms around my waist loosely, her voice just barely a whisper in the air around us. "Just… please, don't… don't be too rough."

I chuckled quietly, leaning forward to kiss her neck. I felt her inhale sharply, and then slowly release the breath shakily as her nervousness started to take over. I smiled against her warm, peach colored flesh, taking a moment to breathe her in before speaking into her ear. "I wouldn't hurt ya if I could, darlin'…"

Something strange about sex, it's a lot quicker than one would think it to be. When it's over, looking back at it, you realize it didn't take nearly as much time as you thought it did. While in the moment, I tried to savor it and make it last, but when it was done I could only regret that it had been so short.

My chest heaved with the effort it took to breathe properly. Beside me I could feel that Layla was in a similar state, her breaths mixed with soft groans as she slowly came down from a high that she had never experienced before. I laughed, shaking away any after-sex tension that could have developed between us in that moment. Turning onto my side, I reached over her naked stomach and wrapped my arm around her, pulling her against me.

She was hot, and just a bit sweaty, and I loved it.

"D*mn Layla," I kissed her forehead as I pulled her closer, removing any distance between her naked form and mine. I held her firmly, a part of me never wanting to let her go… a d*mn big part of me.

As my eyes grew heavy, and sleep began to pull at me, I mumbled quietly. "I adore you…"

I awoke a lot less content than when I had fallen asleep. I was overly hot, laying on my back, and uncomfortably sticky. I growled, opening my eyes to stare at the ceiling. It took a moment to recall the events of the previous evening, but as I slowly started to remember I could feel myself smile. However, as I was remembering, I also started to realize that I was alone.

I looked to my side, and sure enough, the other half of my bed was empty. Layla was nowhere to be seen. Her clothes that I had tossed onto the floor were gone, and it was as if she had never been there…

I sat up, now looking around with a more critical eye. And sure enough, she was gone. But there was something nagging me at the back of my mind. Something wasn't quite right. It was something obvious, extremely obvious. It was as obvious as the shirt on my back.

I frowned, looking down at myself. I was fully clothed.

Upon further inspection, my room was as it had been just mere moments before Layla had arrived the prior night. My boots and socks were flung halfway across the room, my coat was tossed over the chair, and my bed was made. I was on top of the covers, fully clothed, and uncomfortably sticky.

I growled, becoming aware of why I was sticky. "What the _f*ck_!"

It was a dream. It had all been a figment of my imagination. Every bit of it. From the moment I had laid down to the moment I woke up. I must have fallen asleep hard to have dreamed up something so vivid.

I swung my legs around to the side of the bed, growling as I tore my shirt off over my head and threw it across the room. Standing up, I stripped off my pants and sticky underclothes, letting them join my shirt on the floor. As I rummaged through my chest of clothes to find something to wear I started to become more coherent.

So it had been a dream. Layla was never there. It never happened. Everything that she'd said had been something I had subconsciously wanted to hear. But everything had been real. Everything I had felt was real, to me. I swore as I pulled on a sweater, painting the air with fowl language as I dressed and stormed away from my quarters. Ravagers parted in the hallways as I passed, looking particularly disturbed as I stormed by on my way to the control room. A few sent me confused looks, which I promptly ignored, not having the ability to control my own voice after waking so abruptly. It occurred to me that I had probably not slept for very long. I had probably woken up just as my dream had ended, which I figured meant that I had only slept for maybe an hour, perhaps two.

In any case, when I made it to the control room and saw myself reflected in the window, my disheveled appearance didn't surprise me. The disappointment in my eyes, however, did. I stared at myself, seeing my naked emotions staring right back at me. If anyone knew how to see it, they'd know everything in that moment. From my disappointment, to self-loathing. It was all there to be seen.

I slumped into the control chair, wiping the tiredness away from my face as I swore one final time before shoving everything deep down where even I wouldn't be able to see them. "F*ck…" _F*ck it. F*ck everything. F*ck everyone_ … I glared out the window into space in front of me, past my reflection and into the empty void beyond. I couldn't continue on like this. I couldn't pretend anymore. I had tried to fool myself into believing lies, and it hadn't worked. It wasn't lust, but it was. It couldn't be love, and yet I adored her. I had said it myself, whether in a dream or not, it did not matter. It was what it was.

The next shift came and went as it normally did, and I was somehow able to pull through it despite my lack of sleep. Layla was on my mind all the while, haunting my every waking moment. And somehow, as if by some unseen force, I found myself watching her from across the room as she worked on the door of an M-ship that was getting stuck halfway.

I wanted many things in life. Many of which were things I could not have.

"Hey Layla," I tread closer to her, swallowing hard as she glanced at me. I leaned against one of the docking legs, crossing my ankles casually. "I'm headed planet side for some business later. The food here is worth it if you'd care to tag along." I grit my teeth for a split second before adding. "It'd just be me and you."

Layla smiled. "Sounds fun. I could use some time away from this stupid door." She said without hesitation.

My stomach churned as I walked away.

I wanted many things in life. But I wouldn't get any of them if I didn't try.

* * *

 **Happy Naughty Valentine's Day! I was saving this one for a while ;)**


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